hm. an angel number.
i just woke up. not that surprising though. i fell asleep around 4 or 6 am once my body gave out and was forcing me to sleep lol. my mom has said that she thinks i should become a lady baker bc my internal clock, or lack there of, is perfect for that job. i’ve always loved baking so that doesn’t sound too bad at all.
there’s been parts of my life where i’ve lived fully nocturnal. it feels really peaceful at first. you can feel that in the human world everything is closed, shut down, asleep, the lack of energy is quite loud. i also have done a lot of good writing during these hours. but then ill start missing out on important stuff. itll get really frustrating when i cant fix falling asleep at 4 am and waking at 4-5pm and ill feel like a total failure and loser. it feels like just one more basic thing everyone else in the world is capable of, that for some reason i cant do.
i’ve always been a night person though. even as a kid i really liked the energy the night brought. i thought it felt like the time when everything was happening. back then i could barely stay up at all. in 6th grade i would always fall asleep around 11 pm. i remember this bc good eats would be on and i would see the first 30 seconds and pass out. maybe thats when a lot of my sleep issues started. i would sleep in really late out of desperation for not wanting to go to school. by 9th grade this whole pattern was slowly starting, not as severe as now, but i simply couldn’t fall asleep before 3 am.
i wonder if there’s more people like me out there. it would be cool for there to be places open late for the other nocturnals lol. we could hang out under a bridge and follow all the frogs and turtles home. there could be a tea house, unmanned (i wouldn’t expect staffing like during normal hours), and we could make paintings with the slightly manic energy of the occasion. i guess for now i should just sign up for those art classes that i meant to sign up for 2 weeks ago, instead.
a space for me 
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